This was so hard to read, I had to stop twice. I love (as I think you know) your writing, and your truths in this one resonate for all sorts of uncomfortable reasons. Thank you for writing it.
I'd seen it on TV and in movies while growing up—Kaos in Get Smart, Bond films, etc. Where the bad guys, evil, try to reign by controlling the weather. It looks like they won.
How many days are we away from death? My mother is in the advanced stages of Alzheimer's (with aphasia). Doris is attended by caregivers, my sisters, and me between hospice visits which are frequent now. It's as real as it gets. Today, she arranged the pillows and sat up straight in bed on her own. She addressed me by name—which hasn't happened in a long time—and spoke with deceptive clarity, "Diane, I don't think anyone here understands me."
That last paragraph bowled me over. Thank you, even though it's a bitter dose to swallow. That long idyll of my own youth and maturity...gone now and my grandchildren never to know what it was like. But better to face it than pretend things will go back to the Before. A stunning essay.
Sorry about your mum. She probably was really lovely, and loving, and you’ve lived a young, boyish life as a result, (that was nevertheless melancholy). Mums are special - they can never give up because that would mean abandoning their children and that is complete anathema to the beautiful and binding contract of birth. All mums are Sarah Connors, even though some mate with the cyborgs.
"Rationality, democracy, tolerance and pluralism have never been the norm in human civilization; they are aberrations - precarious, essentially unnatural institutions that have to be constantly propped up and protected, re-sold to every new generation. Evidently someone forgot to tell the current one.": At best, the prevalence of rationality et al. is delicate, because a sizable fraction of humanity never truly accepts it. Indeed, a sizable fraction may not even be capable of comprehending it.
I understood this early in my life, because I was raised by a child of the Jim Crow South who recalled that reign of terror fondly, and she sent me to schools run by fundamentalist christianists. Broadly speaking, these people hated the modern world - that "anomalous idyll", such as it was, after World War II - and longed to undo it. What they hated most were the affronts to their bigotry and superstition, the proliferation of "uppity" brown people, women, homosexuals, atheists, etc. who didn't kowtow to them and their delusions of superiority.
Back then, the USA had no shortage of such bigots and ignoramuses, but they were disorganized and demoralized. Hardly any national media or political figures spoke for them. (The Republican party was led by people like Richard Nixon, who was indeed Not A True Conservative, according to the people around me.) Now, after decades of lavishly funded and practically unrestrained propaganda, they're marshaled and emboldened. Endlessly goaded by "culture war" demagoguery, they reliably vote for their own impoverishment, and ours.
Other countries have their own versions of the same "populist" foolishness, which are ascendant in many of them. (I'm a first-hand observer of the British, Canadian, and Swedish versions, as I've lived in those countries.) I expect the underlying tribalisms will strengthen in reaction against the tsunamis of refugees that will ensue from climate change. (Indeed, that's already happening.) Accordingly, I expect liberal democracies will become scarce and tenuous.
Partly due to my upbringing among people who lied to themselves and me, I'm resistant to wishful thinking. I prefer to face facts, however unpleasant they may be. In that spirit, I appreciate this post.
I like the "misdirections" of the essay itself. Is it about personal/family loss? the grim political landscape? How are both connected? It's what I like about Kreider, who often weaves ideas together in a way that demands and rewards close attention.
Organic life is entropic by nature (or maybe design). We've simply created too many threatening problems within our environment for the energy we have to fight them (cancer is a perfect example of human cells going through entropy; too many bad cells for the good cells to fight off). We are, as a species, watching our own extinction take place. We can, as so many try to do, take extraordinary (and, needless to say, expensive) steps to fight the entrophy, or simply allow it to run its course. Me, I would prefer the latter. Let it all run its course, the sooner the better. My eventual demise will come one way or the other; nothing can stop that.
There are things each of us can do to fight the darkness. Be the light and spread the messages that will win elections. For me the fight is in politics. I know that that is where the other side is putting their energy.
This made me think of something. A few years ago I lived in Montreal. In the middle of a particularly harsh winter (they're all bad), my wife and I were walking down the street when a man in front of us suddenly raised his arms and shook them over and over, then he looked up at the heavens and shouted. "Fuck you! Fuck you!" For some reason, that gave us some kind of solace.
This was so hard to read, I had to stop twice. I love (as I think you know) your writing, and your truths in this one resonate for all sorts of uncomfortable reasons. Thank you for writing it.
TIM KREIDER: Spirit animal.
I'd seen it on TV and in movies while growing up—Kaos in Get Smart, Bond films, etc. Where the bad guys, evil, try to reign by controlling the weather. It looks like they won.
How many days are we away from death? My mother is in the advanced stages of Alzheimer's (with aphasia). Doris is attended by caregivers, my sisters, and me between hospice visits which are frequent now. It's as real as it gets. Today, she arranged the pillows and sat up straight in bed on her own. She addressed me by name—which hasn't happened in a long time—and spoke with deceptive clarity, "Diane, I don't think anyone here understands me."
That last paragraph bowled me over. Thank you, even though it's a bitter dose to swallow. That long idyll of my own youth and maturity...gone now and my grandchildren never to know what it was like. But better to face it than pretend things will go back to the Before. A stunning essay.
“Sometimes you have to re-tell it to yourself just to get it all straight and remind yourself it’s all real.”
I’ll just echo some of the (more eloquent) commenters above: Yes to all of this. Please keep writing. Thank you.
Sorry about your mum. She probably was really lovely, and loving, and you’ve lived a young, boyish life as a result, (that was nevertheless melancholy). Mums are special - they can never give up because that would mean abandoning their children and that is complete anathema to the beautiful and binding contract of birth. All mums are Sarah Connors, even though some mate with the cyborgs.
"Rationality, democracy, tolerance and pluralism have never been the norm in human civilization; they are aberrations - precarious, essentially unnatural institutions that have to be constantly propped up and protected, re-sold to every new generation. Evidently someone forgot to tell the current one.": At best, the prevalence of rationality et al. is delicate, because a sizable fraction of humanity never truly accepts it. Indeed, a sizable fraction may not even be capable of comprehending it.
I understood this early in my life, because I was raised by a child of the Jim Crow South who recalled that reign of terror fondly, and she sent me to schools run by fundamentalist christianists. Broadly speaking, these people hated the modern world - that "anomalous idyll", such as it was, after World War II - and longed to undo it. What they hated most were the affronts to their bigotry and superstition, the proliferation of "uppity" brown people, women, homosexuals, atheists, etc. who didn't kowtow to them and their delusions of superiority.
Back then, the USA had no shortage of such bigots and ignoramuses, but they were disorganized and demoralized. Hardly any national media or political figures spoke for them. (The Republican party was led by people like Richard Nixon, who was indeed Not A True Conservative, according to the people around me.) Now, after decades of lavishly funded and practically unrestrained propaganda, they're marshaled and emboldened. Endlessly goaded by "culture war" demagoguery, they reliably vote for their own impoverishment, and ours.
Other countries have their own versions of the same "populist" foolishness, which are ascendant in many of them. (I'm a first-hand observer of the British, Canadian, and Swedish versions, as I've lived in those countries.) I expect the underlying tribalisms will strengthen in reaction against the tsunamis of refugees that will ensue from climate change. (Indeed, that's already happening.) Accordingly, I expect liberal democracies will become scarce and tenuous.
Partly due to my upbringing among people who lied to themselves and me, I'm resistant to wishful thinking. I prefer to face facts, however unpleasant they may be. In that spirit, I appreciate this post.
I like the "misdirections" of the essay itself. Is it about personal/family loss? the grim political landscape? How are both connected? It's what I like about Kreider, who often weaves ideas together in a way that demands and rewards close attention.
Thank you so much!
Organic life is entropic by nature (or maybe design). We've simply created too many threatening problems within our environment for the energy we have to fight them (cancer is a perfect example of human cells going through entropy; too many bad cells for the good cells to fight off). We are, as a species, watching our own extinction take place. We can, as so many try to do, take extraordinary (and, needless to say, expensive) steps to fight the entrophy, or simply allow it to run its course. Me, I would prefer the latter. Let it all run its course, the sooner the better. My eventual demise will come one way or the other; nothing can stop that.
There are things each of us can do to fight the darkness. Be the light and spread the messages that will win elections. For me the fight is in politics. I know that that is where the other side is putting their energy.
This made me think of something. A few years ago I lived in Montreal. In the middle of a particularly harsh winter (they're all bad), my wife and I were walking down the street when a man in front of us suddenly raised his arms and shook them over and over, then he looked up at the heavens and shouted. "Fuck you! Fuck you!" For some reason, that gave us some kind of solace.
This was my first reading of The Loaf. He puts my thoughts into beautiful words . But the message is sad as the truth sometimes is.
Yes. Thanks for making me feel less alone contemplating and holding it all. Sorry for your loss.
Please never stop writing. You are my only reliable "advance man reporting from the time ahead".