Discussion about this post

User's avatar
Julian Clifford's avatar

This was beautiful, thank you.

I often draw comfort from a similar observation that Oscar Wilde made in a letter to a friend after visiting his wife's grave in 1899, four years after the conviction and prison sentence that broke his health and spirit, and only a year before his death. Given the sexual mores of the time, he could easily have blamed himself for the breakup of their marriage -- or blamed himself for suing the Marquess of Queensberry for criminal libel, or for failing to flee to France (as he had been advised to do) before he lost that suit and was then convicted of homosexuality. Instead he wrote:

"It was very tragic seeing her name carved on a tomb – her surname, my name not mentioned of course. . . . I brought some flowers. I was deeply affected—with a sense also of the uselessness of all regrets. Nothing could have been otherwise, and Life is a terrible thing."

Expand full comment
Deanna Kreisel's avatar

Gorgeous. Thank you. I freaking hate when people comment on an essay with a link to their own essay, but I am physically unable to restrain myself. Doubtless I will be embarrassed by all this soon enough.

https://doctorwaffle.substack.com/p/dead-letters-week-37-of-52-mini-essays

Expand full comment
16 more comments...

No posts